2020 Update

I was contemplating where to launch one of my most recent projects (always a project going) and I revisited my blog here.  I am bewildered at the realization that it has been 11 years since I began this blog!  Yes, in 2009. I still can't believe it. What have I been doing all this time? Certainly not blogging. In 2019 I don't think I actually posted a single post. But the motivations behind this blog are truly worth the time, so here is an update. 1. My kids are old. Our sweet H is a teenager. As in full blown teenager. The other night after she left our room upset because it was too late for her to shower in our bathroom (she hates using the bathroom where all the boys pee. It's a valid thing) she stormed out after giving me a mouthful. My husband and I both kinda sat there with no response. All I could say was "Never would've seen that coming when she was 3 and the sweetest thing alive". And yet here we are. She's still incredibly sweet but so sassy and determined. Maybe that will pay off later.

 Budge is almost a teenager and man that kid has a sharp tongue. It's almost like we have official debates about things when he is in trouble. Everything is debatable. Even when it's not. He also has such a big heart. He's also incredibly sincere in his desires to do good. He got the priesthood (which in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) is a pretty big deal. It means you can stand in God's place to serve others with his specific power and authority. You are able to pass the sacrament to congregation members and participate in temple baptism services. He's trying really hard to remain worthy to use his priesthood power. 

 Limmer is as tall as Budge. Really. People ask me all the time if they're twins. I suppose that's good natured enough (though they'd have to be fraternal twins where they look so different).  He's is hilarious these days. I am really enjoying the older kid stage sense of humor. He catches subtle social injustices and calls them out hilariously. I love it. He is still stubborn and a hard worker. It's tough being 21 months younger than your twin, but he holds his own most of the time. He also tells me that I don't pay attention to disciplining so he tries to instead. Thanks for that.  I tried to explain that parents pick their battles but I think he only thought that makes me a terrible parent. Oh well, he'll get it in the future. Right now we're coaching his basketball team and holy cow. If you've never volunteered to coach a city league team, it's time you repay your debt to society. I never knew what it requires. Our boys are wonderful, but I'm certainly no professional. I spend way too much time on youtube researching drills and asking ridiculous questions like 'how do I get our basketball team to have more unity?'. I feel all kinds of pressure to teach them the best way to play, but I have always played informally. I was trying to help them be a bit more aggressive in getting the rebound and accidentally taught them to foul. Good thing that my hubbin is the assistant coach (why won't the city recognize he's the assistant and I'm the coach? He doesn't have time to be the coach yet everything has his name on it). He actually understands all the rules and reteaches the boys when he's able to attend. I love that man. He lets me lead out on everything and just corrects and reteaches without throwing me under the bus. I usually get it and acknowledge that I accidentally taught them wrong. Those poor boys are improving a LOT and I'm so proud of them.

 On to O. He's doing so well in so many areas. He doesn't enjoy reading (or won't admit it) but is like 3 grades ahead in his skills. He struggles with a lot of random anxieties that we're trying to help him with. Our pediatrician recommended this online program called Turnaround Anxiety and it has been a LIFESAVER. It's like he's found his people and feels finally understood. I'm learning so much as I listen and do the journals with him. I had no idea he struggled so much with fears about school and being alone. But he's coming along and I'm proud of his efforts. He's in Karate and doesn't want to go before each and every class, but still goes and comes back being so much happier. He still screams shrilly and calls everyone names (though not in public, thank you O) but he also is saying 'I love you' much more to his brothers and sister. And he's super brave, he just doesn't realize it yet. But he is! He does things that adults with his fears would never attempt. He's coming right along. 

 JamesieBamesie is still a sweetheart. He loves preschool and being with friends (even the neighbors landscapers are his friends: he's so friendly, but has no inhibitions). He struggles with jealousy over my lap and feeding himself. I never thought that I would have a four year old who still waits for me to feed him each bite. The ugly truth is I did it to myself. He's doing great on the independence front, though he's just wrestling with 'how do I be a toddler while still being a big kid' things. He enjoys parts of both (we've helped him to stop sucking his thumb 3 times now...) yet is so ready to move on. I've been wondering if he's ready for full time Kindergarten or just half day. He is so dang cute. He told his grandma the other day with all sincerity: "Grandma if Grandpa tells you what to do, just stay 'You don't tell me what to do, Ok?" We all had a good laugh at that except grandpa. He adores his grandpas, though and wants nothing more than to just be with them. He loves his Grandmas as well. I love that he's a total mommas boy, and snuggles me at every turn, but we've got to get him appreciating his amazing dad a bit more. 

 I am trying to be on a diet with Juicy, and she has discipline of steel. I'm doing well, but I have a major addiction to sugar. I'd almost rather have my sugar, but I love how it feels to be healthy too. So I have clean meals and exercise daily and still eat chocolate at night. It works (slowly, but still). I have all these big plans to become a seminary teacher, which I have always wanted to do, but I need to make sure my kiddos are taken care of first. I am reading a book called 'Being Mortal' by A Gawande, and it's making me want to be the recreation specialist at an old folks home for the improvement needed and the satisfaction of seeing so many lives get better, but I don't think that's my calling just now. 

 My hubbin is amazing as usual. He works his tail off and still makes time for the kids and I. He seems happy and though stressed, he's managing it better than before. Or maybe it's not the same kind of stress. I'm not sure. Either way, I'm proud of him for what he's accomplishing at work (he's really made some great innovations for his company) and I love him for his dedication to us. He loves the good and right and I am so thankful he makes such great efforts for good with each of our kids and in his church assignments. 

 We got a replacement x-box (for our 15 year old one) and he's enjoying gaming again. I think it actually reduces his stress, though I get all tight about any shooting games in front of the kids so they're usually good puzzle and fun games. It's funny the things we care about. I can't abide our kids playing shooter games, and he can't abide them watching movies that say OMG too many times. Maybe both will just help to create something never before seen in society. It's kind of funny but I feel like I should be writing about who I consider the last member of our family, God. Yet it's not really common or maybe even taboo to talk about the experiences we've had with him in this long time. Yet His influence is such a big deal in our home that it feels funny NOT talking about it. So forgive me, but here I go.

 We've been studying this family manual since last year about the scriptures. It breaks the bible and Book of Mormon into chunks and then assigns you parts to read and gets you asking questions about each part. It is such a great guide because it's not shoving doctrine down our throats, yet it creates a space to appreciate parts of the Savior's life that were recorded intentionally by people who loved him and represented him. It's called 'Come, Follow Me' and I really like it. I find myself (and our family) having a lot more conversation about why different commandments are important and how they've affected our lives. I find myself bearing testimony more often to my children of the reasons I know Jesus lives. And in my prayers I've found that I feel less inclined to drone on about meaningless things, because God is becoming more of my interaction and I know he already knows the deets, and I can talk to Him about how I view things. The kicker is that I feel like he's responding to me. Sometimes just in acknowledgement, and sometimes in pretty blatant inspiration, like if a friend were to give their input. More importantly, I feel answers to my questions and that is very faith strengthening. So often we've gone ahead with what we know is right, because it's right and we 'must be doing this for some reason'. And then when the Creator gives his bit of input in my prayers it's kinda like 'woah, I knew you were real, but I just didn't know you were real'. Does that make sense? At any rate, I've loved the new familiarity that I've found in the scriptures with help from that manual and modern day prophets and leaders (especially Sharon Eubank- I've loved her insights). 

 So there is my update, in all of it's deeply personal and messy glory. I certainly recognize my imperfections and if you feel that you need to draw my attention to some, I get that. I generally benefit from input from those who care about me, so if you do, you're welcome to leave it. I truly hope this post finds you well! Love, Becky

Hilarious note about UT licence plates

Last night Dan and I were driving home with a car full of kiddos.  Ahead of us I noticed a Utah licence plate that I've never seen.

"What's that on that licence plate?" I asked.  "A geisha and a bear?!"

"I'm pretty sure that's the huamane treatment for pets plate, babe."

It looked like this:

Imagine it from like 15 feet away and in the evening.

I don't know why the ASPCA wants to put a geisha on there.  Heehee.

I hope you're getting ready for Thanksgiving!  Yay for fall and the holidays!

Finding a lost family

Genealogy is a big deal these days.  People all over are beginning to learn how to find relatives from generations before them.  I get wanting to connect to the people who made you who you are, and I would love to know the generations and their stories and roots.  But I guess I've never wanted to do anything about it. Neither do I have time.

That all changed the other day.

Why less than perfect is happiness

Yesterday we ate lunch outside.  As as soon as my boys and their cousin were done eating, they decided to go on a hunt to find the most beautiful flower for me.  They began to bring all sorts of beauties to me.

Their sweetness moved me so I took a photo.  I love small things like this.

But what happened next was even better.  Our baby, who is only one, looked at what was going on and disappeared.  After a while, when I already had a great boquet, he brought me this one:

He had tried several times to pick it, but each time the petal ripped off instead.  Finally he figured out how to get it off the stem and was so delighted to bring me a gift.  His smile was probably bigger than mine.

So you think you're ready for a dog?

We have been dog owners for about 3 months now, to the sweetest pup: Piper

She is a chesapeake by retriever lab mix.  We adopted her from an organization called Rescue Rovers.  They are amazing.  We loved the process and the fact that she was rescued from the pound.  After being rescued, she got her shots, was micro-chipped, and then went to a volunteer foster home, where she made friends with another dog and 'normalized'.  She was so ready for us when we adopted her 3 weeks later.

She's Loves to fetch, loves to run and has so much energy in the mornings.  But she calms down through the day and just wants to sleep and snuggle the evening away.  She's perfect for our family.

But she does come with a lot of work, too.  Not unexpected, but be prepared for a puppy if that is what you're going to get.  She's worth every ounce of it, but seriously: MAKE SURE YOU'RE READY before you adopt.

 Our sweet Piper is a medium haired dog, even though she's half lab. That means that in the spring she sheds.  Boy howdy.  Does she shed.  When the shedding was at its heaviest, I'm pretty sure I combed a small Pomeranian out of her.  It's truly like you can get a whole other dog out of your shedding medium to long hair pup when their winter coat comes off.  

So if she's an inside dog, you'd better be prepared to throw away any food that drops on your floor anytime, anywhere.  If the dog doesn't eat it, then the nasty hairs will make it inedible.  That was only about a month or so of pure terribleness.  I think... 

On the positive side, our pup has been the most patient of friends to our kids.

And she's fun to explore with.  She was so excited to eat the snow here.  We were at a park, which is another thing.  

Puppies get crazy excited to see other dogs.  The other dogs aren't always so crazy to see them.  It makes for a lot of awkward situations if you're hauling kids already and have to go all hulk to keep your dog from chasing another.

Another consideration: is your family at the right ages to have a puppy.  This is our 1 year old kissing Piper on the back to say sorry for hitting her.  Our boy, like any other toddler, loves to go through his recently acquired knowledge about the features of a face on Piper.  That means piper gets a little finger to the eye ever 3 hours or so as our baby says 'eye'! excitedly.  Piper is so patient and has never acted out despite the unfair treatment.  We really try to defend her and keep her safe.

Consider this: what will you do with your dog when you go on vacation?  We visited my parents, who also own 2 dogs.  It was funny that at first they didn't get along but in the end, they loved each other.  But not even with her new friends was our Piper happy at night, which meant barking, and eventually sleeping just inside the door on the tile.  I'm not sure my parents were ok with that, but they were flexible.  Thank goodness.  We almost took her to a boarder.  That turns into big bucks.

Final thing to consider: this nasty mess.  Dogs WILL poop in your house if they are inside dogs.  At least at first.  Our pup came potty trained, and she is.  But it's hard for ME to adjust to her schedule when I'm tending to kids all day.  Dogs have to go somewhere, and if they can't get your attention, they poop on your rug.  We're really good at cleaning it up quickly now.  I highly recommend a little green machine, by Bissell.  And alarms on your phone to remind you to take her out every 2-3 hours.

If there were no shedding or pooping in my house, I don't think I would hesitate at all to own a dog.  I completely recommend it still, even with the annoyance of the puppy stage (chewing your shoes, wetting on your carpet, etc).  Piper has taken a place in our family, and even our 1 year old can tell her to sit and she obeys.  She's a really good natured dog, and I wouldn't trade her for another.  

Funny thing is, I think most dog owners feel the same way.

So, if you winced your way through this entire post, thinking of what you'd do in similar situations, you may not be ready for a puppy.  If you read through thinking how the shedding, etc. didn't really matter, you're on your way to having a pup.  My best advice: use kindness and discipline your dog, and they'll love you without reservation.  

I highly recommend it!

Best dentists in the state

This weekend this sweet girl notified me of a painful bump on her gum. 

At first I thought it might be a snaggle tooth growing above her baby tooth.  Wrong, it was an abscess.  I called first thing Monday, and our wonderful and very busy dentists got her right in.

That terrible bump was painful for a good reason!  I thought for sure that we were looking at a root canal (do they even do those on kids?)  Instead (thankfully) our dentist was able to treat it in a cheaper, less invasive way.  She didn't even wince with the whole process.  She's brave, but our dentists are good.  Really good.

Then we went home.  Enter this sweet girl:

She so excited to see us (she is a puppy) she jumped up and clocked this sweet little boy with her head:

You may see teary eyes because it knocked his front teeth loose!  I was so mad!  Through the tears and bleeding gums, he was just sad that Piper hurt him.  So we called the dentist back (literally we had left just 15 minutes before).  They took us right in AGAIN *they are busy people.  This is no small thing.

Luckily they didn't have to pull them, and we're hoping these teeth don't die and turn gray.  

Can you see the delight on his face?  It's because he got 2 more (besides the 1 for coming with his sister earlier) coins to spend at the coin-op toy machines.

Thank goodness for the toy machines.  This patient baby looks mighty manly too,  with the prize from his coin.

So funny!  I loved that it was blonde, such a natural fit.  

All in all our dentists saved the day.  And Piper 'kissed' my sad boy's hand to apologize, so he was reassured that she actually loves him. That's important to him *melt my heart.

In case you wish you had such a family dentist:

Read more about our fabulous dentists here.  

While we love them, we're happy to stay away for at least 6 months.

(Obviously they didn't pay me in any way to write this.  Sheer gratitude did that)

Monster Mash granola bars

These granola bars are AMAZING!  Let that be number one.

These granola bars were created by mykitchenescapades.com

After such deliciousness your kids will wonder how they ever ate the storebought ones (*Cough Quaker).
Total time from start to in-your-mouth: 30 minutes. (including 20 min in the fridge)

Variations for your family: endless.  Though you might want to resist the kale craze here.

Our versions all began with the basic recipe from My Kitchen Escapades.

Then make changes accordingly:  IMPORTANT: if you are at a high altitude, only boil for 1 min. 45 sec (unless you want crunchy instead of chewy granola bars.  In that case, go with the full 2 min.)

Cranberry Chocolate with Sunflower seeds and Flax.  By far, the white chocolate cranberry recipe is my favorite.  In our version, we just cut out the salt and coconut, and put in about 3 TBS of Sunflower seeds, and 2 tsp of Flax.  A little healthier and so tasty.

Surprisingly this was our second favorite: Date and Pecan bars.  We added in 1/2 cup chopped pecans and 1/2 cup dates to the original recipe, and it was heavenly.  We don't even eat Dates at our house...until now.

This little beauty came in 3rd favorite: Blue Berry Bars.  We added about 1/2 C of dried blueberries, and put the salt into the dry mixture instead of the wet (it seemed to keep a little more potency that way).  They were a delicious mix of sweet and salty fruit.

Finally the one that came in last was our change to the Candy bar recipe.  We added in 1/2 C of the mini M&Ms as well and sunflower seeds instead of pretzles.  We left out the SKOR bar.  Besides the lack of Skor, we missed our chocolate candies sticking to the rest of the granola bar.  They were chewy goodness with chocolate (still so good) but we had to pick the chocolate up out of the pan and put it back on our bars.  

S'more please - Sorry there was no pic. but we ended up sharing these with friends.  They went quickly.  So Delicious!  For these we added in 1/4 cup Graham Square cereal (Golden Grahams),  1/4 C mini marshmallows and 1/4 C mini-chocolate chips.  Omit coconut.

For all of these mix ins be sure to wait until the main mixture cools or your add-ins will melt!  (excluding the date and pecan.   Those won't melt.  You knew that)

Needless to say my 4 kids have downed over 6 batches of these in different varieties.  If you're trying to save money, and be able to make a quick treat in a flash, these are your ticket.

Now I'm off to clean the honey off the counter that my toddler has been playing in as I finish this.  Have a good day!

Easter

Easter was sweet this year.

We felt so blessed to have all our munchkins, and see the delight on their faces.

This was the first year that some of our family had been on an official Easter Egg Hunt

The older kids still scramble for the gorgeous pops of color that were hidden so well in the bushes and trees.

Everyone filled their baskets up, reminding us of how blessed we are to even be able to afford such luxuries.

Our oldest was just back from her soccer game, aptly called the 'Blue Butterlies'.  They're so funny to watch as they play and chase the ball around, all grouped up like they just want to hang out rather than chase a ball all over a field.

Such a good sister.

And here the products of their creativity and mine and grandpa's as we all sat down to dye eggs.  Complete with lessons on how to turn an egg brown, we had caterpillar and insect stickers.  Crayons (even if they are a simple technique) made their showiing, and our kids loved watching the eggs turn brilliant aqua and fuschia.

We always have our traditional hunts and egg dying on Saturday, and then reserve Sunday for the more holy part of the holiday.  (I have such a hard time with the Easter Bunny when I want to focus on the resurrection, but these young years aren't many)  We had a special talk at dinner about the resurrection, and we shared how thankful we are that because of the Savior, the bands of death are broken, and we can live together for ever.

This video sums it up pretty well for us:

May the message of the season linger with us a little longer.

Wake up it's Spring!!

In my hemisphere it's becoming spring.  I note that because while I lived in Argentina, which is the Southern Hemisphere I felt so completely inside out and turned around to celebrate Christmas in the heat of the summer, and spring in Sept.  I feel for you my foreign friends.

Regardless, Its Spring!!  I'm so thrilled that everything around me is waking up and declaring a new round of life.  Finally!  No signs of life yet where you are?  Well indulge in these beauties and feel better for it:

And my favorite, for the sweet fat baby hands and new discoveries.

In defense of the Knot!

 Maybe it's because I studied marriages all through college, or maybe it's because I'm obsessed a bit with having a successful marriage myself.  Either way I have made almost a case study of so many of the marriages around me and the ways that they have thrived and changed people.  Even the marriages that ended have given me insights into why signing a piece of paper and deciding to tie the knot make such an impact on our happiness. For all of our benefit, I present the people I love and some of the most inspiring parts of their marriages.

This couple decided that they were going to join in on the other's interests.  That means that she spends each winter going along on ice fishing trips (and even has her own gear) and he attended all sorts of quilting classes with her to learn how to use her new sewing machine.  FOR WEEKS!  Neither one would delve into those hobbies on their own.  

Lesson #1: Join in each other's interests.  Share the things you love with your spouse, and learn to appreciate the things they love.

These two took a chance on each other and got married after both of their spouses passed away.  How great to become companions later on in life, despite the years and years you've had living in completely different ways.  It's a lot of work.  But they keep at it daily.  I so admire the commitment of their generation. 

Lesson #2: Stick it out until you figure out how to live with each other.

These folks are the prime example to me of keeping love alive and light hearted.  They are ridiculous together, and spook out laughter amid hard times.  They have fought their way through so many crazy rough times, and still have their wits and their good natures.  I include a regular photo too for their sakes :)

Lesson #3: Be light hearted with each other, and remember to laugh when burdens get heavy.

These two have six kids.  I did say that right.  SIX kids.  And two dogs and a business.  Maybe that's why they're so fiercely committed to each other.  He would support her if she told him that she thinks that they all need to go live in a hut in the Amazon.  And she would be at his side if he decided he needed to move their whole family to their shop so he could work and still be with the kids.  It's unreal what they will do for each other.

Lesson #4: give each other's dreams a chance, and fight to make them happen.

I am biased on this one, because I dearly love these two.  They are 1. hilarious, and 2. dedicated to each other in ways that every new couple dreams of being.  They have seen more pain and health challenges than their fair share and yet they still get into that rv or take a road trip and appreciate the beauty all around them and in their lives.  You'd think suffering would make you bitter.  Not here.

Lesson #5: learn to enjoy taking care of your spouse.

Marriage gives us the opportunity to grow and stretch (sometimes uncomfortably) for the sake of another.  To develop a capacity to love and sacrifice when it's really not what you expected to have to do.  I see incredible patience with each other in these two.  They came into marriage with a lot of factors working against them, and rode it through until things leveled out.  They are better individuals for it, too.

Lesson #6: be willing to sacrifice for your spouses happiness.  To be patient when their best efforts still fall short.  You love each other all the more for riding it through.

These two have seen a lot of loss and heartache, but remain optimistic and hopeful individuals.  They have come to know themselves and their inner weaknesses as well as strengths for being together.  It's tough to continue to love others when your own heart is hurting, but only because you choose to keep your heart open do you find a particular humility and tenderness that keeps the cracks in your heart from breaking.  That is what this couple has shown me.

Lesson #7:  When deep heart aches and incredible sorrow come, keep your heart open to love.

Nothing worth having comes without sacrifice.  Marriage is no exception.  These two are so often on each others case, either getting the one riled up or making the other laugh out loud.  Marriage smooths out the edges and kinks in our souls if we let it.

Lesson #8: When your spouse's little imperfections annoy or anger you, take a moment to appreciate the larger, more important qualities that draw you to them, and savor that.

I imagine that there is nothing that can get this couple down.  They are some of the most resourceful people I know.  Despite money being tight, they still made it possible for their kids (they have 6!!) to earn a Wii and to save up for vacations that have taken them all over the west.  She bakes bread all the time.  He works extra jobs in the summer.  They both see to it that their sweet family has everything they need and even the things they want.  And they are so happy!

Lesson #9 when times get tight financially, get creative.  Money will come when you're being faithful to God and each other.

Lastly, how could I forget my sweet hubby?  He has taught me time and time again that needing each other is a good thing, despite my stubborn independence.  He has loved me in so many situations that I never thought we'd be in. And he is nearly perfect in my book.  If you knew the man you'd probably agree.  He has his faults, but his good outweighs them. He still can't believe that I had never seen all of Star Wars before meeting him.  I still can't believe men like him still exist.

Lesson from my own marriage:  Women need men, and men need women.  Good men are still out there, and you hold them tightly when you find them.

Nothing has been quite so challenging or quite so fulfilling as sticking it through with this Man.
I'm so thankful to be married to him!