Delusions of Grandeur

I've been pretty occupied as of late.  If not by all of the canning (peaches, pears, apricots, plum jams, raspberry jams, and even more, all fruit given to us by different friends -we're so thankful for that!) then by the PTA and craft projects and doing things for church.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining - I'd rather be crazy busy than without things to do.  But somehow in the mix of it all, I've not seen a headlong problem that was staring me in the face.

That problem is my tendency to get worked up and angry and yell at my kids.  And once they've not heard me, or ignored me or been disrespectful until the 'last straw', I stay that way all the day long.  I wish I could say that my anger was fleeting, or harmless in the long run.  But the truth is they're good kids, and we're seeing signs in them that say they're acting out and suffering because of it. (stab in the heart)

I'm learning that my anger is never because of them.  It's because of me and my own failure to reign my feelings in.  What's more, I'm learning is that anger is a secondary emotion, meaning that there is another, more deeply rooted emotion under the surface of my anger that is the real thing I'm worried/upset about.  That is so very true when I think of what I do.  It's usually the thought that my kid is going to grow up to be disrespectful, rebellious, and messed up that gets me firing and demanding obedience.

I'm finding there are better ways to teach and to support good decisions.  And anger is contrary to almost all progress in those arenas.

Help a Momma Out Series

This is the beginning post of a series called "Help a Momma Out" where some of the most challenging parts of motherhood are addressed.  Guest posts from mommas who know will be included, and although regular posts and crafts will be interspersed, this series will go on for a couple of months.

HMO (Help a Momma Out) # 1: Why is this so hard?  Adjusting to a new baby

As a mom of four, I have struggled often enough , and yet I clearly remember the upheaval that was adjusting to baby number one.

Not all moms deal with that.  Some of my friends say their first was by no means the hardest transition, and that they kinda sailed through.  Did they have newborn siblings growing up?  Maybe their personalities are such that not much ruffles them.  I have no idea.

What I do know is, at one point or another, most of us have to deal with giving up our spot as numero uno to a baby.  That's not easy.

Late Bloomer

I suppose that as a mom, I can't help but worry about my kids, and one of our boys in particular.  Sometimes he cries when others his age don't, he needs sleep more than our other kids ever did, and he always seems to be in the shadow of his older brother.  I silently wonder if he'll be left behind in any way.

But the other day I was taking the dog out and I noticed  a bloom on my favorite tree (a Magnolia).  I had long awaited the blooms on that tree all winter.  And when they came they were magnificent.  This year they didn't even freeze.  They lasted and now the blooms are done and have fallen to the ground.

But not this one.

And I can't believe how beautiful it is among the leaves that weren't there before. The colors are brilliant together.  Such an unexpected delight.

It's a sweet reminder of what I might have missed if those late bloomers hadn't come around 

when they did. 

I suppose that my boy growing up in his time frame is like that.  Maybe it's a gift from heaven to see things I may not have caught before, and to savor the joy of being his mom.  

Blooming late may not be so bad after all.