December 1, 2014

What you talkin 'bout, Phyllis?

My husband's nickname is Phyllis.  It came from my inability to get the saying right from Webster, the 90s tv show.  Instead of saying 'what you talkin bout, Willis?', it came out Phyllis, and was so funny that it just stuck.  He's a good sport.

He's a good sport too about his recent back surgery.  But today is day 2 post-op, and it IS NOT a good day.

Poor Dan has burney shooting pain down his leg and numbness as well.  The nurses told us that today is supposed to be the worst day, until day 5 when it will ease up a little.  Oh man.

But we've had some really great experiences along the way.  Being in the hospital for the 2 days we stayed was actually a really great bonding time.  Since kids weren't allowed to visit, it was just Dan and I.  We played quiz up and most of the time had the TV off, and just talked.  It was like we were dating again.  Soo cool.  The nurses showed me how to unhook him to help him go to the bathroom, and were so good to answer my every question (it's not enough for me to know that poor lung expansion causes a fever - I need to know why).  We had such great care.

We met a couple who were there visiting people from the church, letting us know about meeting times and offering help if needed, and they were so great. As it turns out I went to school with their daughter, and we both served missions in Argentina.  It was so great to meet them, and we asked them to give Dan a blessing (something that any worthy priesthood holder in my faith can give).  It was comforting and powerful, and even given direction that as we serve each other our marriage would be strengthened.  It changed my perspective about taking care of my invalid husband.  It makes me eager to serve him, knowing that it will have long lasting benefits for our marriage. And I think it was completely true in the case of my brain surgery.  I have never known appreciation and love like I did when he took such unselfish care of me both in the hospital and during my healing.  That made a place in me I never knew could exist.  Every time I try to explain how much it changed me to have him serve me like that I just cry.  Those feelings are too tangled into the deeper parts of my heart to sort out.  I just love him so much more for it, and I'm happy to serve him as well as I possibly can.

Which brings me to a stickier topic.  Taking care of my sweet hubbin while also taking care of our kids.  So far, my in laws (amazing people that they are) have taken the kids during our hospital stay and then again today so we can have a quiet house.  I've only had our 2 year old, and honestly with just him it feels like I've had another baby.  He throws fits when he doesn't have the attention he's used to and I'm just not willing to stop and love on him until I can help his dad where I need to.

My good friend (who brought us 3, yes THREE meals yesterday) said that it was the most stressful time of her life to take care of her operated upon husband and her kiddos.  What kind of mom has the time to make 3 meals for a sick friend?   She's amazing.

But we have great support and friends and family who are so quick to help us (including a wonderful friend who came last night on very short notice to cover for the late hospital release and extra HOUR of driving around we did to find a pharmacy that was stocked with narcotics!  Thank you, FDA for moving narcotics to the next level of security.

I hope you and yours had a wonderful Thanksgiving.  Ours was amazing and my weepy self was so content that day to look around our dinner table with so many of my loved ones there.  That's all that really matters in the end.  We are truly so rich!




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